So, it was the weekend AND the winter solstice, for which I totally planned to do something witchy* but instead just lay about in bed all day, with the laptop, and then got up and watched an episode of Dollhouse and the Miss Marple (they have a new Miss Marple - ALL WRONG) while eating the roast that Hugo cooked (beef).
But I needed the time in bed to recover from the fact that my parental units, with the parental KITTEHS and the parental doggeh Eric, are now living in a new house, and not the traditional home of the parental units, where I grew up. So, to console myself for this loss, I have decided to buy a Blackberry.
As any fule kno, the purpose of a Blackberry (known in the young people speak as a "crackberry") is to take photos of things you're eating (or are about to eat) and upload them straight to facebook. Given my non-existent sense of direction, the GPS may also be useful. Anyway, it turns out, when I read the fine-print of the corporate plan (le blahblah, as they called it on the French pre-paid sim card I bought) the minimum monthly spend if you want a free crackberry (and let's face it, who doesn't?) doesn't include the interweb access. Pah, I say to that. So doing my calcumalations, it turns out is cheaper to buy one outright on ebay and then just connect. So am currently doing that. And by "doing that", I mean obsessively hitting the refresh button to check I am still the highest bidder.
I am also somewhat tired. By the time we watched the new Miss Marple (who has clearly killed the real Miss Marple and buried her in the garden - NOW THERE'S A REAL MURDER MYSTERY) and Hugo cleaned up and walked the dog etc, it was way late. While aforesaid cleaning and walking of the canine were taking place I lay in bed reading one of the books I borrowed from the university library on British folklore. Specifically, the chapter on various different ways to summon up the Devil.
The book does not explain WHY you would want to summon the devil. Perhaps to sup with him using a long spoon? Or to challenge him to a duel where you both play fiddles**? Or to turn everything into an all-singing, all-dancing, Joss-Whedon-directed musical extravaganza? By the way, Dollhouse, still rocks in a non anti-feminist way. But I digress. Back to summoning the Devil. It seems there are various features of the British landscape and/or architecture and/or certain graves in certain graveyards that belong to the devil. And to summon him up, all you have to do is walk around them widdershins seven times, and lo, the Devil appears. At which stage presumably you can invite him to supper/challenge him to play the fiddle/ask him who does his eyebrows/request musical interludes.
Is it lunchtime yet?
*Like for example put a curse on the bastard from unit 1 who keeps stealing our weekend Herald Suns.
**I am personally of the opinion that the squeezebox is a far more Satanic instrument. And a solid gold squeezebox would be a sight to be seen.
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4 comments:
hopefully it is not too late, but i think that you should eschew the crackberry for an applephone.
they are excellent, except for the fact that the new york times crossword application is clearly flawed because it is telling me that i have an incorrect answer today. and that is really hampering my work rate at the moment.
Totes too late. Plus, work only supports the Crackberry, and how am I supposed to slack off in cafes if I can't get my work emails? (If anyone from work is reading this, that was totally, er, ironic).
There were exclamations of "What!?!" from both the Mister and I last night as we watched the opening of Marple. Totally wrong. She's too interested in everything. The *real* Miss Marple had that lovely air of being completely off with the fairies which is what made her so good at what she did. This one is just nosy.
YES! And her HAIR! The real Miss Marple had uncontrolled curls, not an old-lady set-once-a-week-at-the-hairdresser style.
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